the late goodbye
Thursday, January 3, 2013,
i know, im 3 days behind in wishing welcome to mr.2013. so here it is.
i am a constant reader of blogs. yes, u can find me most of the time attached to mr iphone, staring at its screen. yes, including in the hospt. when im bored, u can c this one figure standing by the corridor, staring loyally to her phone. should i tell u, it's me? ha8. nway, i LOVE blogwlking. regardless it's an islamic blogs, random-journal blogs or fashion blogs. it's nice seeing how people put words into strings. and i realised, the pst few days, most blogger has been posting about how their 2012 has been. and it kindda hits me, Y DIDNT I HAVE SUCH POST? so i believe, i wanna do one. *sibuk je kan*
2012, like all the past years, hve been a roller-coaster ride. and there's so many things im thnkful of. things, that i believe, i cant even find the right word to put them in here. nway, Alhamdulillah, i made it into my final year. pass my 1st clinical exams. 2012 was the transition from HTAR, Klang back to UMMC. im happy to be back 'HOME'. Klang always felt so far.. and unknown. i like being in UM.
2012, was kindda diff to me. it's the year i decided, NO MORE GIVING MY HEART AWAY TO MR. NON-MAHRAM. i dont wanna b anybody's girlfriend, or awek or anything seangkatan dgnnya. and Alhamdulillah, i succeeded. mayb to some of u, this is such a small matter. but to a person like me, it was TOUGH! tests come and go. and as i mentioned in my post long- long time ago, 'LAGI KITA JAGA HATI KITA, LAGI RAMAI NAK MEMILIKI'. and it's true. buknla nk kata kite ni hot ke ape kan, but just stating a fact here. but i wont deny, during those 12 months of battle, there are times i slipped. not to the extend i surrendered my heart kan, but there are moments where i start thinking, AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING? IF YES, THEN Y IS IT SO HARD? but then, i remembered a sheikh once said,
THE ROAD TO JANNAH WAS NEVER EASY. JANNAH, IS A HOME, FOR THOSE WHO ARE PATIENCE.
so, if i was to state, the thing im thankful the most, that would be... the strength Allah has given me through-out the year. and of course, for all the good things i have in life. my family, my friends, my brothers and sisters in Islam. and im also thankful for all the lessons learnt, for the embarrassing moments, for the painful falls, coz without all these ugly scenes, i wont get enough tarbiyah.
even with all those bumpy and curvy roads, there are still so many things i need to learn. there are still many things i have to change about myself. and i pray to Allah, so He gives us all the strength needed to go through the days, without slipping into the wrong path. coz at the end of the day, we are all human, and it's fitrah to mke mistakes. so dont worry, pintu taubat sntiasa terbuka :)
plus, ms 2012 taught me a wonderful lesson on ukhuwah. kerana ukhuwah la u can feel the sadness of our brothers n sisters in Gaza, Syria and all other parts of the world. sbb cinta kerana Allah ni la, kita rasa sakit mereka walaupun kite jaoh.
yes, ms 2012 has in a way, matured the way i think. it changes my perspectives in a lot of things and alhamdulillah, has increases my understanding regrdings islam. (hopefully it keeps on increasing)
and as i wrote on my fb status on the 1st day of 2013,
Alhamdulillah, Allah bg peluang stepping into another year :)
But whts the point of living in another year if we have NO RESOLUTION of TRYING TO BE CLOSER TO ALLAH.Ingat, kadang2 ALLAH biar kita masih bernafas hari ini, bcoz He is gving us a chance for taubah. So dont waste it by doing something that LOOKS FUN in the dunya, but MEANS NOTHING in the akhirah.
i hope, i will be a better person this year. harap smgat mujahidah tu lebih kental. insyaAllah.
my resolutions for 2013??? in another post, maybe :) *mcm la ade org wonder kan :P*
bubye 2012. thank u for coming, and i know i'll never c u again, but u will always b in my mind :)
new past